You probably have debated with someone over the attractiveness of a particular person only to find out that they did not hold the same perspective as you do, right? You were pretty sure that the person you are talking about was attractive but for some reason the person you were conversing with did not approve with your perspective, and for a sure fact they were honest with you. If you’ve experienced this probably you asking yourself why do people perceive attractiveness differently and why does it happen over varying degrees, right? Well, attraction just like any other emotion is the direct product of the mind. So basically, we’ll be discussing much more about the unconscious mind and how it associates things
Association and the unconscious mind (short story)
Samantha was a teenager who suffered from a transitory automysophobia (fear of being dirty). Well Samantha was an extremely clean girl who did not tolerate untidiness or dirt. Basically, she would associate everything dirty and untidy as something bad cause in her mind she seriously thought dirt was a bad thing. Now since such statements and beliefs were constantly reinforced and repeated, her unconscious mind gradually associated dirt as something bad.
When tremendous amount of time elapsed (think years), Samantha consciously forgot about her automysophobia, but one part of her mind didn’t, and that is her unconscious mind. When Samantha reached her adult years, she never understood why she was never attracted to mechanical and blue collar workers. She always stated that men with oily clothing (overalls) were extremely repulsive and the least attractive people. Even though those workers cleaned up after work, she still didn’t find those men attractive because her unconscious mind associated dirty as bad qualities, but why though?
It’s basically because the mind learns through association. For example, in today’s age, we tend to associate good looks with good inner personalities traits, although this might be true, not all good looks reflect good inner qualities. So, association and attraction might play a huge role in determining whether someone will appeal to you or not. For example, someone who looks like your abusive ex girlfriend/boyfriend might not appeal to you no matter how much your friend favors him.
Remember that someone’s beliefs play a huge role in determining who they’ll be attracted to. Since someone’s unconscious mind makes associations with those beliefs, what appeals to me or your friend might not directly appeal to you. Plain and simple.